Giving birth is most definitely the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s wonderful, crazy, emotional, painful, wild, weird and beautiful. There’s nothing like it. And just when we birth-givers begin to feel a bit of relief after our bundle of joy has finally entered the world, we realize there are still miles and miles and miles of things coming our way that can be quite difficult to handle. Having a caring and helpful partner can be an absolute lifesaver. Here are 5 great ways you can help your partner after they’ve recently given birth.
1. Be really nice. She’s going to be in pain. She’s going to be exhausted. She’s going to laugh. She’s going to cry. She’s going to be moody. In fact, she might be downright unpleasant at times. Just be nice. Hold back that urge to snap back at her. She has little demons still inside of her called hormones. She can’t help herself. It will get better.
2. Clean up. If she’s a clean freak, then keeping your home clean after baby could quite possibly be the best thing you’ve done ever, in her mind. Those that like things tidy (like myself) tend to feel more at peace and even a bit more happy when their home is neat and clean. It’s therapeutic, in a way. And even if she’s not a neat freak, simply keeping things in order will help avoid more chaos than there already may be.
3. Give compliments. If you’re having a positive thought about your lady, tell her. Now is not the time to admire her quietly. Be vocal about it. You witnessed her bring a human into the world. It’s a big damn deal. Talk about it. Reassurance from you that she is doing great is more powerful than you realize.
4. Pay special attention to your big kid(s). Your baby’s older sibling(s) might be elated and super happy about the new baby. But also, maybe not. My son practically ignored my daughter until she was 2 months old. Your partner is going to worry about big brother or sister, especially if they’re acting less than stoked about the new sibling. Be extra attentive with the big kids. Take them to do something special, even if it’s just a simple walk or bike ride around the block. It will make the kiddos and your partner feel better.
5. Be on standby. Sometimes the new mommy wants to care for the baby constantly. And sometimes she wants to step away for a bit to have some alone time. And unfortunately, for you planners out there, it’s tough to know when she’ll want what. So anytime you’re able to simply be there on standby and available, do it. Am I telling you to be at her beckon call? Yes. Yes, I am.
P.S. Do your best to take care of yourself along the way. If you’re falling apart, you won’t be much help to your family. So eat, sleep, smile. You can do this. Congratulations on the new baby! Good luck!